Review: The Witch

There is a lot to admire about The Witch. It's has a meticulously crafted atmosphere. It's beautifully shot, well acted. It's obviously handled with care. What isn't handled with care is the story. It's old and hollow like the tree line it spends so much time showcasing. The characters lack flare and originality and while their supernatural paranoia seems ripe for dramatic picking, Director Robert Eggers doesn't capitalize on it until the last twenty minutes and by then you can't help but laugh because of how quickly things escalate, which isn't good for a horror film that heavily relies on a tense slow-burn.

Is The Witch worth your time? No.

Review: Deadpool

Deadpool is back on the silver screen and better than ever. Though that's not saying much after what FOX did to the Merc with a Mouth in 2011's X-Men Origins: Wolverine (don't worry, Deadpool didn't like it either). Honestly, anything would have been an improvement. I don't mean to sell this latest depiction short because it's, quite simply, a marvel. Deadpool is the best translation of any superhero from comic to movie so far, which will please long-time fans of the character and it's funnier than the idea of Aquaman getting his own movie, which will please everybody else. What's more astonishing is just how sympathetic Ryan Reynolds and company have made the anti-hero (as he so proudly labels himself). Not only does the film dish on its promised R-rated action and iconic self-referential humor, but you learn to kind of-- definitely-- love Wade Wilson despite his obvious... Uh, personality flaws. It's the perfect Deadpool movie.

Is Deadpool worth your time? Yes. Definitely. Why are you still reading this? Go see it. Now.

Review: Kung Fu Panda 3

Extreme close-up. Pupils narrowed. Po is focused and ready for action. Cut to panda and company placing their orders for steaming hot dumplings. How many times is Dreamworks going to bang the beaten gong on this same joke and versions of it? In some ways the Kung Fu Panda series is held back by its formula. Not only do many jokes get recycled but each time we are lead to believe this Chinese bear is a foretold prophet who's meant to save the land from evil, but he begins each film as a bumbling novice and finishes each film with master-level skills. However, for as jarring as the overall progression of the franchise is, the latest entry is just as endearing and action-packed as the first two. Jack Black is so good as Po and the rest of the cast is on par. It's also full of belly laughs that adults too can appreciate. The addition of Bryan Cranston as Po's father is perfect. He is a revelation.

Is Kung Fu Panda 3 worth your time? Despite the familiarity and the suffering character development, yes. Yes it is.

Review: Jane Got A Gun

Jane Got A Gun is already one of 2016's biggest let downs. Such a talent and yet, somehow, nothing to show for it. Natalie Portman is an Oscar winner but you couldn't tell from this film. She is disinterested. Worse yet, she is not even the main character in her own story. In fact, she is hardly a character at all. She is a plot device allowing the male characters around her to engage in uninspired shootouts. One of those men is the great Ewan McGregor, who unfortunately drums up about a drab total of 10 minutes of screen time. He is mostly confined to the same room at the same table for most of his appearance. It's a lazy, sexist misfire that still manages to hit every movie cliche dead center.

Not worth your time. I can't even find an interesting photo for this movie.